+anger management+

i feel a need to realy control my emotions and not sweat the small stuff.
i feel so much unhappiness in me and yet i noe i shld not let these things affect me.
does this mean that hui is shld realy start to harden her heart and be less emotional?
when i feel my blood boil.. i am fighting to hold back my tears..
next time .. i shldn even feel like tearing..

KL trip was a disaster.. i came back falling sick.
i have been coughing so badly my lungs hurt so bad.. fuck man.
isn there anything i can be happy abt... fuck.
i hope xmas will be a happy one with my family. i choose to spent it with them cos they mean so much to me and we are not exactly on good terms.
every part of my life is affected by them... i hope they knoe that.
now all i eva wan is for someone to tell me that he or she will always be there for me wheneva i need someone.
i am a coward.. i dnt wana feel alone. i dnt wana feel insecure.
i wan to always noe that i have someone by my side shld anything happen to me.
i haven felt that way for a long long time. i miss feeling sheltered and protected.
i feel like i am forced to be independent. i know its good for me but arent i entitled to feel weak once in awhile.

:: i feel trapped ::