last nite was one of the worse nights i had to go thru..
i shld be able to put every thing behind and not be so bothered by it.
but in reality.. i cnt do it..
felt so helpless but pathetic.
i hope i dnt have to go thru it again. i am realy afraid.
like kurt says.. now i am the one in the rut.
i feel so much like a failure.
isnt there anything that hui can do?

:: i feel lost ::