+ a girl's worst nightmare +

Had gone thru one of the worst labour day of my life.
It is that a girl grows older the more burden she has and the more worrisome they become?
i knew i wasn thinking straight. prolly its the Prolonged PMS that made me feel that way...
i tried to calm myself a hundred times.. i tried to think positive. but its was no use.
i tried to even think if its my fault cos dnt point ur fingers at anyone else before blaming urself.
THE biggest mistake i made is to be so bothered by it. Which i cnt help it, that is the saddest thing. The person who gets affected most by this aspect of me .. is none other den the big H. I remember that is wat the mels and me use to call him.
ahhh.. sweet sweet memories of how we met and how we got together. even though the beginning has its uncertainties n rough patches. those were the times that u can always see silly huisy smiling frm ear to ear in a daze.
Now i am a caught in a corner which i had put myself in. I've neva felt as vulnerable. It struck me suddenly at how much loving a person can do to u. I neva expect myself to be in it so deep. Here i am dying to let the other party know how much i need him in my life while me struggling not to be so caught up with it so i wnt get hurt so easily n will not put any strain to the r/s. The emotional baggage is sometimes too much for me. It realy did push me to the edge once, luckily nothing happened. I wnt let myself get to that stage eva again not onli for myself but for the one i love.

to the Big H of my life. I do not need to u do anything thing for me on our special day jus a simple gesture to show that u care will do. I do not need you to spend every min with me jus the idea that u love me with all ur heart will do. I do not need you to stop doin anything for me jus remember the promises you made to me will do. I do not need you to tell me you love me everyday jus spare a thought for me once in a while will do. I wish u will always remember how deep is my love for you and no matter wat i will neva sacrifice what i have with you. Now as i am gonna enter the working society, i am certain i will not have the time for you and may sometimes neglect you. But always remember, however occupied i am.. my heart will always be with you. For our future, i hope you and i will be able make this work till the day we look back and see how both of us has grown to be a better person for each other together.

:: i still feel vulnerable but optimistic ::