+happy new yr+

its going to be a brand new yr!!
new hopes.. new dreams.. new excitements!
me shall embrace the new yr with realistic goals .

1) CURB my spending (this is on my list every yr, one fine yr it will be gone)
2) Be a good daughter and sister
3) Get at least an A for my exams this new and final semester
4) Lose all the fats
5) Spend a BLARDY Good xmas next yr to make up for the this yr

the list goes on but that it for now..oh ya.. hope this my cough will stop realy soon. its draining me..

:: i feel optimistic ::

+unmerry xmas+

stoopid xmas..
Christmas was horrid....

+anger management+

i feel a need to realy control my emotions and not sweat the small stuff.
i feel so much unhappiness in me and yet i noe i shld not let these things affect me.
does this mean that hui is shld realy start to harden her heart and be less emotional?
when i feel my blood boil.. i am fighting to hold back my tears..
next time .. i shldn even feel like tearing..

KL trip was a disaster.. i came back falling sick.
i have been coughing so badly my lungs hurt so bad.. fuck man.
isn there anything i can be happy abt... fuck.
i hope xmas will be a happy one with my family. i choose to spent it with them cos they mean so much to me and we are not exactly on good terms.
every part of my life is affected by them... i hope they knoe that.
now all i eva wan is for someone to tell me that he or she will always be there for me wheneva i need someone.
i am a coward.. i dnt wana feel alone. i dnt wana feel insecure.
i wan to always noe that i have someone by my side shld anything happen to me.
i haven felt that way for a long long time. i miss feeling sheltered and protected.
i feel like i am forced to be independent. i know its good for me but arent i entitled to feel weak once in awhile.

:: i feel trapped ::

+ taking baby steps +

the weekend has been the most 'surprising' one..
1st was a very happy celebration for fel's bday. we has such a good time. jus me n and my good old frens.
den in the nite.. it blew up into a HUGE quarrel.... goodness me..
we realy trash things out.. i felt at loss of wat to do..
the whole session was like.. " omg. i neva knew u felt that way.."
but i am glad we manage to work things out.. we are all happy in the end and understood each other better.

den it was penny's bday party! it was a sweet event. and i manage to catch up with my pooh babies. i miss them and their bimbo-ness. heehee..

i am looking forward for my break and a short holiday to KL with my buddies.*jumps*

+party time+

i need to learn how to manage my finances.. goodness.. it is so tuff for huisy!! ARGH... *pulls hair*
i need to lock myself at home so i dnt spent. thats a start!

anyway.... back to the main POINT!
my exams are over.. i have a whole 'HUISY'S TO-DO-LIST FOR DEC'
the holidays are gonna be over before i noe it. so i have to treasure every moment i have and not waste it!

i have a huge load of burden of my chest since the exams are over..
however.. there are still issues..
makes huisy feel hopeless. i want to be a better person. but its not happening..

:: i feel tired::