best wishes

things are gettin more optimistic this week..
tmr fenny is gng for a C-section. its gonna be a baby boy!
cant wait for her to give birth.. it so exciting watching ur secondary sch fren have a family den a child.
i cant wait to go see her. unfortunately. she cant come for my bday partee.
but she is defintely excused.
as my big day draws near... i cant help but have mix feelings..
will it be boring? will nobody turn up?
will it be disaster? will it be the most horrible 21st partee of the yr?
sigh....huisy jus tinks too much rite?
but i cant help it!
i jus wan everybody to go there have a good meal.. have fun hanging out with each other and catch up. den sing the most beautiful bday song for me.
its will be a fantastic partee for me.. i shall keep my fingers cross till thurs!

:: i feel jumpy ::

i searched high and low. i jus couldn find it..
tears just cant stop flowing down my face when i knew i will neva get it back
i cant believe i might have accidentally threw it away.
i want it back so badly..
all the precious memories that i have left in it.. its the only thing that i can hold on to
but now it lost forever.
i hate myself for being so carelesss
i wan them all back realy.. is there anything i can do. anything.


:: i feel heartbroken ::

a sudden fear overwhelmed me at the moment..
feel lost too..
the courage i have to pull together to face all these shit and fix my life.
i am such a disaster. huisy is realy not like that before.
i cant figure out what realy went wrong and wat happened.
i have lost it.. lost everything.. soon i am going to lose even more if i continue being like that.
in a spur of the moment, i wana let go of so many things dear to me. but i just cnt bear too.
i am afraid to face this alone. but no one else can be there for me.

emotion rollercoaster

here i am goin up and down on my mood swings..
jus going with the flow.. letting everything ard me lead the way.
living aimlessly...
hui was neva like that.. for the past mth.. things have changed so drastically..
and here i am looking back in horror of the things that have happened and the things that i have done or not done.
wat is wrong with me..
i neva cried as much as i had for the past few weeks...
i jus wan to be in my own comfort zone and totally ignorant abt my environment
but i noe its not possible.. my family is my support.. my frens are my life.
i will always remind myself that

:: i feel hopeless ::

i feel so silly..
i feel so dumb..
i feel so foolish..
saying all the things i said... feeling the way that i did.
i wish i could take back everything i said and jus smile n laugh with you.
after the whole conversation did i realise i was realy in my own world and excluded everyone from it and most importantly you.
i feel the hurt i gave you
i feel the anger i gave you
i am so guilty and regretful now. hoping you will be able to let it go and tell me that it doesnt matter.
warning me that u'll let me of this time round and for me not to do it again
and not warning me not to make you angry or u'll realy not care.
i could see that i realy caused so much unhappiness to you.
what was i eva tinking. y cnt i jus enjoy the relationship and the conversation we jus had.
i am now dying for you to just tok to me again and i am a happy girl again. the rest dont matter to me anymore.

is it so difficult to bare your heart and speak out your thoughts?
y is it so difficult for me..

counting down

me haven been busy with nothing and not getting anything done at all. Made a almost last minute decision to celebrate my 21st bday.. shld be busy with the preparation.. but seems like everything will be done in a haste. i HATE it. i shld be looking forward to it. but i am totally not at all but i am jus goin thru it cos have alr booked the chalet. i dont mind all the work and preparation. i want it to be a beautiful 21st partee.. but i am just not realy looking forward to it. I am tryin to make myself all excited.... deciding on the pretty stuff to decorate.. the dress i am going to wear.. buying new shoes ..even a tiara..
somehow.... they are only making me feel better for that moment. i hate it when i am in such a state.. still not able to let go of the past.. let go of the pain.. let go of the unhappiness..
i tink i am so indulge in my own world of sorrow and sadness that i am oblivious to the pple ard me and the things ard me. i am jus wasting time away.. i haven been attending sch.. i haven been doin anything.. jus hanging out and keeping myself occupied so i wnt tink so much.
i am trying my best not to get the pple ard me affected by my moody self. i am tryin as much as possible to make them as happy as they can be. i hope they see the effort i am putting in. sometimes its jus so tiring.... but i wana still hold on to the last glimpse of hope that all will be bright and gay.. very soon.. very soon..

:: i feel lost ::

jus me n fel.. my long lost bestie

at the airport supposedly waitin for juls n steph to touch down but we got the flight details all wrong..

our 1st oreo cheesecake! its was baked to perfection!

on our way hme frm shopping yet again..

at macs chilling n bitching..

i did her makeup!

all ready for phuture

our shopping extravaganza

our ktv sessions

.....Side by side or miles apart,

good friends are always

close to the heart.....

+ late nite suppers+

on our way to supper...

me n pei wen! at hong kong cafe along east coast rd

me n serene! the yuan yang gave me the the runs

silly us..

happily snapping away..

acting cute at the airport.. while waiting for our driver..Pei wen!

Hongkong cafe at liang seah st.. its yummlicious.. we were overfed there

attemping to mug at clementi macs @4am... look at our eyebags!!

all these late nite suppers are causing the me to grow fat! it shows it all on my face! hahha

we had so much fun. miss u guys.

:: i feel happy ::

late nite suppers almost every nite for me.. my gawd.. i feel fat!
i am so feel it! its all pw fault .. always available after 10pm den onli can we go eat!
haahaa

we took like tons of photos at all our supper places.. we need to hunt for more good place to eat ... till we have no choice but to go JB! hahaha
all my photos cnt be uploaded cos my blardy cable is faulty and i have like hundred over pics in my phone!

i love spending time with my old frens. i miss them so much.
so many misunderstanding in the past we do not noe till now... i realy regret. but i will try and make an effort no0w.. i am glad u all are here to stay.

:: i feel nostalgic ::

i have lost my interest in blogging.... watssup next i wonder..